Do you find yourself browsing Facebook and comparing your travel experiences with someone else’s? You may think that you are missing out because you haven’t traveled the world like your peers – but don’t let this get you down! As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” So break out of that mindset and be joyful!
This week’s Thoughtful Thursday explores how an incident of comparison to Justin Timberlake and how you can change this comparison mindset to work to your advantage.
Guest Post by Christine Hassler
One of my clients sent me a frustrated email after going to a sold-out Justin Timberlake concert. She was inspired by his talent but also triggered because she felt she is not embracing her talent in the “effortless” and “big” way he is. Those comparison based thoughts made her feel out of touch with her own talents because she was measuring herself up to JT.
Comparison is perhaps one of the most painful things we do to ourselves. It is the thief of joy. It blinds us to our own gifts. It makes gratitude impossible. It feels completely awful. And it causes us to think some pretty unreasonable and unfair things – like we are supposed to be like Justin Timberlake (or whatever person/people you compare yourself to).
If we all expressed ourselves the way Justin Timberlake does, there would be no one going to his concerts! Only Justin can be Justin and only you can be you – and you’re awesome so why would you want to be anyone else?!?!
Measuring ourselves up against others is unfortunately a bad habit we all began engaging in pretty early in life. From the ways we are graded in school to how we attempt to fit in, the pattern of looking to others for feedback about how we should be is ingrained at an early age.
Out of all the bad habits I have set the intention to break, comparison has been one of the most challenging but perhaps the most important. I even went through a period when I unsubscribed to a lot of people’s email lists because I would see what they were doing and then would put a ton of pressure on myself to “keep up” – it was exhausting!!
When I do not compare myself to others, I can see my own gifts. When I see my own gifts, I can celebrate and express them while at the same time celebrating the gifts I see in others. When I celebrate and express my gifts, I can share them with you. And when I share them with you, I feel incredibly fulfilled because I am living the expression that is uniquely me. I am not attempting to be like someone else.
The same applies to YOU. When you attempt to be like anyone else other than yourself it’s like saying to God, “I really don’t like the gifts you gave me, I want his or hers instead.” When you are in that type of envy energy, it makes it much harder for the Universe to support you in the expansion of your own gifts. And you will never feel true fulfillment.
Here’s what you can do when you compare:
Transform comparison into inspiration. Whatever you see in someone else that you admire is a positive projection. They are reflecting something back to you about yourself that you are not fully stepping into or acknowledging. Don’t try and copy their form. Instead identify the essence of what they are expressing and embrace that within yourself.
Celebrate what you see in others!! Talent, creativity, and abundance are not limited resources – they are infinite! Be happy for others without limiting yourself by thinking you are less than in some way.
Giver yourself permission to be YOU. Unleash the fullest expression of you by being FULLY who you are. You will only find the secret sauce that makes you uniquely YOU by looking within. Share whatever you find no matter what others may think or say.
You are a ROCKSTAR!